you guys were way drunker than both of me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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