dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
