We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
