I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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