I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
