Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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