Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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