Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
