with your own penis?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
