Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
