If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
