No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
