"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
