her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
did i walk over a car last night?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
