A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.