Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.