If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
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There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
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Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.