It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We don't watch enough power rangers
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
