i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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