If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize