You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
