If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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