Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
