Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
