I wannas sexs uuuuu
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
