He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
