laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she peed on how many people?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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