so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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