a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
