It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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