Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
His nipple licking is glorious
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