Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
