haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize