After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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