Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
