every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Randomize
