just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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