Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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