im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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