It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
