I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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