when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
