Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
