you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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