'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
