Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
