I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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