There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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