how can u be prego again
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Redeem this text for a blowjob
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
