i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
