420 ftw
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
