If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
