you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
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