shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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