So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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