spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
