so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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