bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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