Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
