I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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