I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
