she was so not down for the gang bang
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
