apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
